Gratitude: Learning to Find the MESSAGE in the MESS

       Last week, we focused on "growth and gratitude" for our quote of the week. I found this great quote by motivational speaker and best-selling author,  Steve Maraboli.  When the time came for my students to write about this quote, some of them really struggled with what it meant to "find the message in the mess."   As I wrestled to find the words to explain the question and give them context, I shared a time in my life when things got a little messy. 

       It was spring of 2019. Track season was in full swing-I was coaching and officiating track meets. My girls were heavily involved with their own activities--club volleyball, ballet, etc. We also had on-campus physicals coming up for our athletes and feeder elementary schools, which was a big deal, considering all of the organization and coordination it takes to make this day run smoothly.. AND to top it off, my husband was working out of town a lot during this time, so I was juggling all the things.   Life was BUSY!!  

MY MESS

       The  day before physicals, my Great Dane Violet began showing some weird symptoms. I called the vet to get her an appointment first thing in the morning and had made arrangements with my principal to be a little late to school. I had awakened in the middle of the night to check on her, and Violet wasn't moving. In fact she was struggling to breathe. I was beside myself with grief. It was about 3:45am, and all I could think to do was to call my husband David, who was 2 hours away to tell him that Violet was dying. He immediately hung up the phone and drove in the wee hours of the morning to help me. 

    Tears streamed down my face as I sat with sweet Violet, waiting for my husband to come, petting her head as she took her last breath (less than 24 hours after showing her first symptoms). I was in total shock. I could not imagine what would have caused such a swift and painful death in this otherwise healthy dog!  When David finally arrived, I was a  complete blubbering mess, as you can imagine. He hugged me, then, followed in by our sweet neighbor, proceeded to take care of getting her 125-pound body out of the house and to the vet's office so she could be "taken care of."

     It was about 6am by this time, so I had to finally wake my girls  and tell them about Violet. After all of us had a good cry, we still had to get ready for school. We still had physicals happening, and we still had to get through a very tough day.  

MY MESSAGE 

As I told my students about this tragedy, I realized that my "message in the mess" is that I have a husband--a person in my life-- who is willing to do anything for me--even drive 2 hours in the early hours of the morning-- to help me when I need him. I am so very grateful for his dedication to our family, and the love he shows me every day.  He truly is my treasure!

      After telling my story.  I asked my students to go back and answer their question of the day. I included some responses from my 6th and 7th graders below. I hope you enjoy: 

How does being grateful help you see

the "Message in the mess?"

"It helps me by like knowing no matter how bad things get there will always be positive things to realize and that you have." Mya M. 6th Grader

"No matter how hard it is right now, think about how the result would make you feel. Try your best to overcome all the hard/bad stuff. :) Being grateful helps you be happy and thankful." Valeria M, 6th Grader

"Well first of all, messages don't always have to be, "See the beauty in the pain," or Live life to the fullest." It can be figuring out more about yourself as a person. When I admitted to myself that I am grateful for the people and situations that put me through what I didn't deserve, I found a version of myself I didn't know existed. I found stability in the storm. I found myself. All because I was grateful." Becca B., 7th Grader

 "It means that when you are grateful that whenever life throws something at you you can always find a way to surpass it."  Amyrian R. 7th Grader 

"The 'message' helps you think of the good things that are happening at the bad times, even if you are not thinking about the good things at the moment." Aubree H. 7th Grader

"It means that when you are grateful, life can knock you down, [but] you can find the better in the bad situations." Iyana M. 7th Grader

 As Thanksgiving approaches, I ask you.... What is YOUR message in the mess? What are the things you are most grateful for? I would love to hear your thoughts! Have a wonderful and safe Thanksgiving break, and remember to always count your blessings! 

 

 To learn more about Steve Maraboli, visit his website: https://stevemaraboli.net/aboutsteve/

What my 8th graders have taught me about Growth Mindset

    Having a growth mindset is so important, that we have been talking about it in my classes. What does it mean to have a growth mindset? How can having a growth mindset help me be successful? etc. I have been sharing quotes each week, and the students have been collaborating on various lessons that center around resilience and developing their own growth mindsets. 

"If you find a path with no obstacles, it probably doesn't lead anywhere." Frank A Clark.   

    I have learned so much from my students this year, that I wanted to share a little bit of their brilliance with you (with their permission, of course!) . I hope you learn as much as I did from my students! Enjoy!

Question of the Day:  How does having a growth mindset help you overcome life's obstacles? 

"By helping me look at every obstacle as a good challenge. It helps me to look at failure as a opportunity to learn something new and to not make the same mistake. It also helps me to be confident when taking a test or having just a hard time understanding something." Kati B., 8th grader

8th grader Simon C. found this great quote by Carol Dweck:  

            "Growth mindset is one's intelligence or developed with persistence, effort, and a focus on learning. Individuals with a growth mindset believe they are capable of learning nearly anything if they work hard and accept failures and challenges as opportunities to grow. Also you choose to learn from the experience, work harder and try again until you reach your goals."  https://www.mindtools.com/pages/article/dwecks-mindsets.htm

"ex: if you tried the first time and didn't make but you  keep trying and it made it the second time. if you didn't try the second time then how would you know if you would have made it . a person with the without growth mindset would have never made it. " Ja'Myria G., 8th Grader

"[A growth mindset] can make you see more opportunities. help you overcome the obstacles. and fix the mistakes." Ricky G., 8th grader 

"When my mindset is open it is open for new opportunities. Having an open mindset can allow you to grow and change. When a mindset is closed however you do not have the ability to grow." Ben G, 8th grader

"Having a growth mindsets helps you know what you want to do in life.It could help you get through things that might be hard where you get to the point where you want  to give up, but with a growth mindset it will help you get through want you think you can't get through." Zanashia H., 8th grader

"Having a growth mindset helps you know what you want in the future, how you want to live your life, and what you want to do. Also having a growth mindset helps you achieve at things because when going through hard obstacles you learn from them. Also you grow as a better person becuase you know what you did was wrong and now you get better at things." Nevaeh H. 8th grader

"When having a growth mindset you can constantly  be willing to change and grow from an obstacle that got thrown at you so keeping a growth mindset you can get over the challenges by learning from them." Audriana H., 8th grader

Amaya K-C found this great quote!  "Growth mindset shows how individuals can change, learn and grow, instead of being rigidly stuck and stable. Inborn traits and attributes are less important than what is malleable or learnable, through effort. " Deena Kara Shaffer

"When having a growth mindset you know you can try new things and want to try them. When a life obstacle comes up you know that you can overcome it and face it. A growth mindset can help get you through the obstacle that your facing." Gavi L., 8th grader

"It allows people to persevere through troubles and hardship. It allows people to never give up. These type of people are the most hardworking trustworthy people around." Solomon O. 8th grader

8th graders Ardisia T. and Alvina S. found this great quote: "When having a growth mindset you wont just give up when things get hard . You'll want to try to overcome whatever obstacle is in your way . It can help us not just reframe but deeply learn from setbacks by regarding them as opportunities. " Deena Kara Shaffer www.alive.com

"Having a developed mindset will allow me as a person to have confidence and belief in what i'm doing everyday . By having that confidence , I will be able to pass through whatever obstacles I may have in the near future . " Brandon S. 8th grader

"Having a growth mind set allows you to make mistakes and learn for them. Learning from them can make you grow." Tyrita S. 8th grader

8th grader Tionna S. shared this great quote with me: "A healthy mindset involves finding ways to grow from your thoughts instead of letting them control your life. Rather than dwelling on a negative thought until it becomes overwhelming, the healthy mindset tries to a) move beyond that thought or b) simply accept it." ( CATHERINE BEARD )

"It shows how individuals can change, learn, and grow. It can help you grow through effort and
hardwork. As long as you try and put effort in you can overcome life's obstacles." Breashon T. 8th
grader

"[A growth mindset] helps you not limit yourself.And to push either mentally or physically.It also helps you grow and be a better person." Jayah W. 8th grader

BUT WAIT! There's MORE! 

  I had so many great responses to this week's growth mindset question, that I have decided to share only the 8th grade responses in this blog post. I will share the 6th and 7th graders' brilliance later this week